Counseling: healing and exploring

Elaine Dove and Heloise Gold, 2010:  Sharing

*For pages on specific topics related to counseling, look in the sidebar to the right.  I have new pages on how I see counseling, artists and creatives, dating, people of color, women, the sons and daughters of immigrant parents...lots of stuff.  Browse around and feel free to email me if something resonates and you want to visit about counseling.  I add content as I continue to learn and grow along with my clients.*

Counseling is the intertwining of two processes:  exploring and healing.  In order to heal, you have to explore; in order to explore, you have to heal.  Many of my clients are actually the healthiest people in their situations because they are the ones asking the questions and willing to look for solutions and answers to living differently.  It's a lot easier to stay stuck in bad habits than to do the courageous work of exploration and change. 

Generally speaking, my clients are creatively oriented people who have often (but not always) faced a lot of suffering in their lives as well as the stigma of being "different" in some way because of culture, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, or lifestyle.   Almost all of my clients are some combination of being an artist and creative, son or daughter of immigrant parents, person of color, female...etcetera.  So, my clients in particular are people who combine many aspects of "different" in who they are and how they live.  They are poets, performers, stylists, dancers, writers, musicians, fathers and mothers, healers of all races, genders, ages, faiths and lifestyles.  These are some of the journeys we take in counseling together:

-Wounds from relationships and all of the related questions about communication, loneliness, healing, holding on and letting go, forgiving and not forgiving. Relationships are one of the most important things to us as human beings. The quality of those relationships--good, bad, ugly, or indifferent-- has a direct impact on our emotional and physical health. Relationships can be with parents, siblings, past or present partners, colleagues, co-workers, church members--the list goes on.

-Feeling stuck and not knowing how to move forward; living in the patterns of the past and being sick of it--"Why does X keep happening?"  Or, not being able to formulate a plan for the future that feels right, true, or authentic.

-Control, or the lack of it. A realistic framework for what we can and can't affect in life is essential to emotional health. Trying to affect things we can't leads to anger and frustration. Not affecting things we can leads to helplessness and depression.

-Grieving and loss--a partner, a pet, a child, a friend, a way of life; changes to your body, psyche, relationships and life after moving, surgery, divorce, empty nest, medical diagnosis and treatment. It is nowhere written that you are supposed to go through loss alone.

-PTSD and trauma symptoms: feeling "out of your body," numb, disconnected, lonely, cut off, unable to access emotions. The Body/Mind page on this site contains a more detailed exploration of an integrated approach to these issues. I firmly believe that it is irresponsible to process traumatic material without integrating somatic self care and grounding components as part of the treatment approach. It is important that you understand this fully before choosing to work with me.

-Overwhelm and stress, anxiety, depression: I put these together because they're usually intertwined. Anxiety can be an overwhelm of worrying thoughts. Depression can be an overwhelm of negative and sad thoughts that come out of worrying. Overwhelm from some other source can cause anxiety AND depression. It's a kind of unfortunate trifecta, a three headed snake that winds around itself.

-Self image and body image: realistic self-appraisal and self-acceptance, issues about weight, appearance, self-respect, learning to be comfortable in your own skin.

-Spiritual questions: ethics and morals in ourselves and others; wondering what is right and just; personal responsibility; "six one way and half dozen the other" situations; aging, death, the meaning of life. Some would call me bold to designate these as spiritual questions; I just happen to believe that whether or not you are a spiritual person, these kinds of questions don't fit neatly into what we think of as "therapy." Therefore, I include them here.

My job, as I see it, is not to diagnose, pathologize or mainstream you. It's to help and support you in understanding three things: what's going on right now, how you arrived here, and how you can affect your life in a positive and healing way from this point forward. This is a very simple definition of helping another person, but in a nutshell, that's what I believe it's about.  Our sessions can include not only traditional talk therapy but elements of Feldenkrais, TARA Approach, and meditation guidance if you wish.  I am trained in and have access to all of these tools, which I use myself, and am happy to share them with you.

I accept clients ages teen to 100+. If I'm not the right person to help you, I'll gladly refer you to others who may be better for you. Helping people is kind of like running a small restaurant. Everyone has their things that they do well and their things they don't do well. I have my menu and other helpers have theirs.

I'm an LPC-Intern in the state of Texas, supervised by K. Leslie Larson.  Leslie's address is 2720 Bee Caves Road, Austin, Texas 78746.  Sessions are $60-$90 sliding scale, payable by cash or a check made out to Leslie Larson, and there is a $50 rate available to students and those in need. Sessions are scheduled for 90 minutes because the "50 minute hour" has never felt right to me (or to most of my clients either!).  

Please note that I am not an emergency crisis counselor and that complex psychiatric conditions are beyond the scope of what I am legally allowed to provide care for. If you are in crisis please call 472-HELP (in Austin), 911, or go to your nearest emergency room. I also do not provide counseling for any type of court case or legal proceeding.